Listen

This is my goal for the week. To consciously stop thinking about my next sentence and just listen to exactly what I’m being told. (Not that I will follow directions or agree, to be clear) It’s part of my 90 day sanity project. Maybe I should explain.

Everything happens in threes. First, my 25th birthday sucked. Beginning at midnight with a complete meltdown and anxiety attack, carrying over into a terrible day at work, culminating in an evening of scrambling to finish my last paper for the semester. Second, a boat ride in Central Park reminds me why I love this city and why I moved here. Thirdly, a dear friend was attacked and lost her memory –since recovered.

Thus, I realized from these three things that –I am not getting any younger, I love NYC when I explore it and life is fleeting. Many trips to the bookstore later and I’d picked up The Happiness Project. I read it and decided that I had all summer to change my life – before I missed out. So, my “90 Days to Sanity” experiment began.

June: De Clutter and De Stress

July: Try Something New

August: Be Ashley

June is almost over and I really didn’t decide until half way through that this was actually something I was going to do. I made a three page to do list that I am geeking out over, I completely cleaned out my room of the clutter and am trying to stick to keeping it that way and I’ve been reading books on how to rethink the day so I’m not stressed out or tired so much. I say No more often but Yes more enthusiastically. My daily to-do lists have 4-6 items on them- that I complete. I’ve identified what keeps me up late at night and do things during the day to prevent that.

June’s goals:

-de clutter my life (why do I keep certain things? Use everything now!)

-Plan for school (if I can do something now, why wait till I’m going to be stressed anyways?)

-leave work at work (I work to live, not the other way around)

-Listen, not wait to talk.

-Enjoy the moment – like going on the Wonder Wheel. I HATE ferris wheels, but would always have regretted not trying it. I did it! (with my eyes closed 80% of the time)



July begins next week. The overall theme is “Try Something New” Not just going back to my old “one new thing in NYC a week” goal (which I miss and feel guilty when I take the time during the school year), this is larger than that. Its things like, “shop at the farmers market” or “go to Yoga on the River”- Stuff I say I don’t have time for, when really its me getting more out of my comfort zone. Like homemade pickles or joining a book club. Most new things I try, I actually like. Funny how that is.

Turning 25

I've become obsessed with travel, with maps, with stories of adventure. Some days, I imagine selling everything and buying a car and couch surfing my way across the US. Other days, I imagine opening a bookstore, soup kitchen, bed and breakfast or bar somewhere and staying put for years to come. 


How did the lyrics go? "We gotta make a decision- We leave tonight or live and die this way" 


I've found a sense of urgency lately. Maybe it's getting to be that time again. The longest I've lived my adult life in one town was almost 4 years to the day. On August 27, 2011 I will hit that 4 year mark. Maybe I find myself devouring Paul Theoreaux and Bill Bryson because I want to resist settling. 


Maybe I'm just protesting 25. 

10 Things From My Bucket List

Some of my Bucket List: (in no particular order)

FLY A PLANE:  why not? I've ridden shotgun in a helicopter

SEE THE GREAT PYRAMIDS: perfect construction, mysteries abound, Egyptian greatness

ride a 650cc Triumph Trophy TR6 like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape: a sweet indulgence. 

CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER: they say if you leave one thing undone, you have a better chance of going back to do it. After ten years, im inclined to agree with them. 

PLAY ROULETTE AT MONTE CARLO CASINO AFTER WATCHING THE GRAND PRIX: 5 years too young to get into the lobby. Standing outside, watching the million dollar cars pull up and seeing the prix cars parked outside? Such torture!

WRITE A SCREEN PLAY THATS OPTIONED: its like being published. Leaves hope that one day it will be produced. Also the only success that F. Scott Fitzgerald never attained. He died writing his only screen play.

WATCH THE SUNSET IN SAN FRANCISCO: does the sun look different from the other coast? 

GET MY PHD: 3 years, 1 semester left

COOK THE PERFECT EGG: could take me the rest of my life. Not intimidated.

LEARN TO JUGGLE. WELL: tired of only being able to do one revolution. its time to get better.